By: gassadm
Dec 22, 2014

Aruna – wife of Ravi

Ravi and Aruna were married on the 28th May 2012. Aruna’s parents had paid a huge dowry and a sum of Rs.80, 000 for Aruna and Ravi to have a separate house in Bangalore. Aruna is from Kasbagh in Doddaballapur Taluk. Ravi is from Maddur Taluk. Ravi is the son of Chikkamarigowda. Before wedding the boy’s parents said he was employed in Bangalore at Kidwai Government hospital and that he was drawing a monthly salary of Rs.20, 000. Before the wedding, the boy’s people said Ravi would take the girl to Bangalore. After the wedding, the couple had to go to the boy’s parents’ house and stay there. The promise that Ravi and his parents made before Ravi’s wedding was thus broken. Again Ravi said he would after two more months take the girl to Bangalore and make a new home for her. Later, the in-laws asked Aruna to bring gold from her maternal home plus a sum of Rs.50, 000 with which they said they wanted to buy land. Ravi used to come home only once every 15 days. The couple had some misunderstanding because of Ravi’s parents and sister. The Mother in law and the sister in law used to torture Aruna saying she hadn’t given them adequate money and they kept asking her to perform more of the domestic chores. The in-laws snatched away 100 grams of gold from Aruna and used it as collateral to buy land. This was clearly a case of Dowry Harassment and the boy – i.e., Ravi wasn’t spending adequate time with his wife nor was he taking his wife to Bangalore as promised earlier. Ravi also kept asking his wife to bring 50, 000 rupees and kept torturing her. Aruna therefore came back to her maternal home. Then Aruna’s mother said she would pay Rs.80, 000 and make a separate home for her daughter and son-in-law. Then Ravi took her back but never made a separate home for Aruna and misused Aruna’s money. Again Aruna came back to her maternal home and launched a complaint with GASS on the 27th July 2013. The Counseling was done by Anusha who also sent Ravi and his parents a notice. The Maddur police station was contacted by GASS and a complaint copy and a letter to the sub inspector were sent and an enquiry date was fixed to counsel the family. The boy i.e., Ravi was called. The boy was counseled individually as also his parents who said they would make a home for Aruna later. Then GASS learned that Ravi never had a government job – he and his parents had lied through and through. He was just an attendant at the HCG hospital and was getting Rs.5000 a month. He had lied through and through all along until the GASS enquiry had been made.

The mother in law said ‘I will not let my son make a separate home for his wife in Bangalore’ during the first individual counseling session. Ravi said ‘I want to stay with my parents- the girl doesn’t listen to my parents and doesn’t work properly at home.

Aruna said ‘We had given Rs.80, 000 before the wedding but my in-laws and Ravi haven’t been satisfied. My mother in law and father in law don’t allow me to call my hubby and speak to him on phone. I am being tortured mentally’. She couldn’t share a sense of intimacy with her in-laws and they also said ‘don’t go to your mom’s house too frequently’. After taking a statement from both Ravi and Aruna during counseling they were given a future date for yet another counseling session. Aruna gave her statement. She said ‘they cheated me and married me. I will not stay with in-laws – it is very torturous. Let my hubby make a separate home in the same town and let Ravi work and come to that separate home at least 4 days a week. I will take care of in-laws’ because the in-laws were saying ‘who’ll care for us?’ Ravi said his wife hadn’t given him any money to build a separate house for her. And no matter what question was asked he kept saying ‘I don’t know, I don’t know’. When asked why he pawned the gold he said ‘I was never at home – I don’t know – I don’t know’. He kept giving negative answers to the GASS counselor and so GASS said ‘whosoever introduced you and your parents to Aruna’s family in the context of your marriage should be brought here to GASS.’ Another date was then fixed for counseling but the boy didn’t come at all. The GASS family counselor then asked Ravi to bring his mother too for the next session since he kept saying he didn’t know anything during the counseling session.

The boy said his mother was not well and that she was in a serious condition. He said ‘she can’t come’. So yet another date was fixed but the boy didn’t come. After this the boy’s sister and the boy used to come – nobody else. They keep saying ‘the girl doesn’t do any work’. In the session after that Ravi gave a statement ‘the salary I have doesn’t enable me to lead an independent life with my wife. I will go to my town and engage in agricultural work. My wife should also be a housewife and stay home. She shouldn’t make a big issue out of little things by going to the police station or the media’. Aruna said ‘I will go with him. The boy’s people should take care of me properly’. She was willing to come back to her hubby because she couldn’t endure the torture meted out to her by neighbors around her mother’s place. She said ‘I have lived in the city – I can’t do village work- let’s not make that a big issue. I will learn village work- the boy’s people should not abuse me with dirty words.

The GASS Counselor told Ravi ‘she will take time to learn village work – take care of her properly. Love her genuinely and care for her. Don’t ask for dowry. If the boy and the girl get together both will become responsible people.

Aruna was told by GASS- ‘learn to perform the rural work slowly- if they make little comments don’t make a big issue out of it. You should know by cognitive introspection as to what is right and what is wrong. This case must come once every 15 days to attend counseling by GASS and give their report on how things are progressing.

The Follow-Up:

Aruna was counseled and she said ‘we are living happily but we don’t have a separate house. Hubby comes weekly once only. Let him make a house for me in Bangalore.

Ravi said ‘I will not go to Bangalore right now because I don’t have the money to buy a new house in Bangalore. If I get the money I will make a separate home for Aruna and myself in Bangalore’. GASS said ‘husband and wife should get along with each other’. Aruna said ‘I will stay with in-laws for 4 months after which I will want my own house in Bangalore.

By the time the next counseling session occurred the hubby had made a home for Aruna in Bangalore. The hubby and wife were very happy. The case came last on the 27th July 2013. It had been a case of dowry harassment and domestic violence. Aruna doesn’t live with her in-laws any more.